If you want to fall asleep. Don’t try to fall asleep.
All of us have found ourselves awake in the middle of the night and tried to force ourselves to fall asleep in vain. We try closing our eyes, changing our sleeping position and pretending to be asleep but two hours later we find ourselves very awake and frustrated for lack of sleep. It appears that the more we force ourselves to fall asleep the more awake we feel.
Attempts to force the mind to do something seems to yield an opposite reaction. The mind behaves like a tyrant. Like handcuffs, the more we resist its grasp the more it turns on the ratchet and tightens its grip on us. The more we want to stop thinking about something the more it becomes salient in our minds.
Let’s say for example, a man notices that he has been having constant fights with his wife for some days. So, he promises himself that he will try his best to avoid conflict with his wife. On that particular day he is on his best behavior from the morning and he is walking on egg shells to ensure he does not agitate his wife. As the day progresses, everything is going well with wifey and he is even starting to entertain the thought of getting laid that night. And then in the evening, somehow, he says something stupid that upsets his wife. Everything falls part.
The mind is a saboteur. Like trying to laugh by tickling yourself, it resists our attempts to control it.
So, what can we do to calm the mind?
Nothing.
You see, the mind is like water in a basin or a pool. Whenever the water is stirred, we don’t force it to stop spinning by hitting it with something. In fact, it becomes murkier if we do.
We leave stirred waters alone, until they calm down on their own.
Life is life
Fabio