I think I am the most overworked unpaid intern in the world.
My shift starts immediately I wake up. The first thing I do is check WhatsApp. What have people said while I was asleep? Of course nothing important has been said, but 30 minutes later I’m still aimlessly scrolling. I clock into whatsapp several times throughout the day.
By midmorning, I log into twitter to see what’s happening in the world. As usual, it’s Armageddon on twitter. Someone is being cancelled for expressing an opinion. Everyone has an opinion on everything, including what opinions everyone should have. After reading the comments, I also develop my own opinion.
No, really. I don’t develop an opinion, I only choose sides. The other day I caught myself parroting an opinion that I had picked from social media. I am now officially thinking like the algorithm.
In the afternoon while eating with one hand and holding my phone with the other, I ask AI to explain to me why Manchester United is losing with Carrick, yet they did well last season. AI gives me a vague response and then asks me if I want more on Carrick. I say yes. One hour later I am asking AI, whats the point of Sakaja defecting to ODM?
In the evening I’m winding down on YouTube watching a podcast where someone is talking about how to optimize my productivity.
One hour into the podcast, I realise something is off in the house. The Mrs. is scrolling through tiktok, smiling as usual.
How come there is no noise in the house? How come no one is crying or disturbing me? Where are the kids?
I lift my head and see them glued on the TV.
Ladies and gentlemen.
As for me and my house we are serving as unpaid interns in the Zuckerberg, Twitter, tiktok and YouTube plantations.
Fabio