Every other day, young ladies are popping emergency pills like tic-tacs. There is no need to belabour the fact that HIV, STIs and unintended pregnancies have an adverse impact.
We know that other than abstinence, proper use of condoms is an effective way of protection against sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. More like they can be used to kill two birds with one stone.
Despite the practical benefits, awareness and easy access to condoms, the numbers of those engaged in unprotected sex are high.
So, what is it that we are missing?
It is often said, that young people fear pregnancy more than HIV.
I beg to differ.
First, this is not a young people problem only.
Second, I bet no one says, “I would rather contract HIV than become pregnant”.
But then, why do we still engage in unprotected sex?
I think, the reason is self-image. You see, we have a tendency to view ourselves as good mate-selectors and are sexually attracted to “healthy” people. We also have a tendency to think that bad things happen to other people. That is why we ask, why me? When bad things happen to us.
Now, when we are exchanging marriage vows at the altar. We don’t imagine that our fate could be similar to the cousin or friend who got divorced. We think we are special.
You see, at that moment, if one entertains the thought that their marriage will fall apart a few years down the line, He is also forced to admit to himself that he is not making a wise decision. This creates discomfort. To eliminate the discomfort, the thought is quickly erased and covered by more devotion and commitment to be together forever, for better for worse.
Our self-image tells us that we know how to identify a “healthy” mate. That we choose sexual partners with a clean bill of health. If we think of them otherwise, then that would be an indictment on our judgement and would “kill the vibe”
There is therefore conflict between our self-image and reality. On one hand our self-image tells us that we have selected a “healthy” partner while on the other hand, reality tells us to use a condom to protect ourselves from disease.
The use of condom does not match our self-image. So, to deal with the cognitive dissonance and to be consistent with our self-image. We tell ourselves; “He/she is healthy so I don’t need to use a condom”.
Of course the morning after, you “take care” of the pregnancy and forget everything else about catching diseases.
Life is life
Fabio